X-File 214314: Sunnydale, California*
by Rane1
Summary: Scully and Mulder come to Sunnydale... please r/r


Title: *X-File 214314: Sunnydale, California*  
Rating: G  
Description: Mulder and Scully visit Sunnydale. It takes place during the summertime and this fic has nothing to do with my Velvet Web series. It's just been squatting in my hard drive and it's about time I sent it on its way.   
Spoilers: Can't think of any.  
Feedback: rane018@yahoo.com Much appreciated since this wasn't read by anyone else and English is not my first language. And *thank you* to those that have emailed me about previous fics. I really appreciate it! hugs  
Disclaimers: Don't own anything, don't make any money, and blah, blah, blah, Joss Whedon and Chris Carter, blah, blah, blah, production companies, and blah, blah, blah, the Buffy and X-Files writers...   
Notes: This is written in script format, well, my own script format. Please don't go postal with my mistakes... Plus, takes place after season four Buffy. However it doesn't coincide with The X Files season cause Mulder was abducted and he's in this fic. Plus, I feel really cheapy cause there's a scene from a recent Buffy that has the Scoobs being interrogated and I wrote my scenes first (ask Glenda, the good witch!) Teehee... Oh well...   
Written: Summer 2000, revisions at later dates   
  
TEASER  
  
INT. GILES APARTMENT - FRIDAY, EARLY EVENING  
  
BUFFY  
No, there were three.   
  
GILES  
Are you sure there were just three Rednimyads, not four?  
  
BUFFY  
Are you saying I can't count?  
  
WILLOW  
How do we know they are even Red-thingamagigs?  
  
TARA  
(to Willow)  
From the way she described them. I kinda know about them.  
  
Willow beams at her girlfriend.  
  
GILES  
(to Buffy)  
What I mean is that the only way Rednimyads can perform a ritual is in fours.   
  
TARA  
The four corners...  
  
BUFFY  
So you think one is just fashionably late?  
  
XANDER  
Or dead?  
  
GILES  
If that were the case then they wouldn't still be here.  
  
BUFFY   
When is this ceremony supposed to take place?   
  
GILES  
At some point Sunday night if my calculations are correct.  
  
XANDER  
What exactly is the ritual for?  
  
GILES  
That part hasn't been figured out yet.  
  
Knock on the door.  
  
GILES  
No one ever knocks on my door anymore.  
  
ANYA  
Could be a vampire wanting to come in.  
  
XANDER  
Subtle.  
  
A second knock. Scoobies all stare at the door. Spike has been listening to all this on the couch, bored as ever.   
  
SPIKE  
Bloody Hell. I'll get it.  
  
Spike opens the door. Well wouldn't you know it... It's FBI angents FOX MULDER and his redheaded partner DANA SCULLY.  
  
MULDER  
(flashing his badge)  
Hi. I'm Special Agent FOX MULDER. This is my partner DANA SCULLY.  
  
Spike smiles at Scully and she coyly smiles back.  
  
SPIKE  
(To Scully)  
Hello, luv. I'm Spike.  
(To Mulder)  
What do you want?  
  
MULDER  
We're looking for RUPERT GILES.  
  
Spike opens the door wider, giving view to the Scooby gang staring at them.  
  
GILES  
May I help you?  
  
MULDER  
Agent Mulder with the FBI.  
  
Xander quickly stands up.  
  
XANDER  
FBI?! I was 18 when I worked at the strip club. I swear.  
  
SCULLY  
Relax that's not why we're here.  
  
BUFFY  
Why are you here?  
  
MULDER  
(To Giles)   
I take it you're Rupert Giles. Could we speak to you for a minute?  
  
SPIKE  
(tilting his head at Scully)   
Mind if I keep Red here company?  
  
SCULLY  
Actually - Spike --  
  
SPIKE  
WILLIAM. Please, call me William.  
  
BUFFY/XANDER/WILLOW/ANYA  
William?!  
  
SCULLY  
Well, William, I need to talk to Mr. Giles too. Maybe I'll see you around later.  
  
ANYA  
Oh, you will. He hasn't got a life.  
  
XANDER  
(To Anya)   
Ok, then, honey. Let's go. Quickly.  
  
WILLOW  
Yeah. Ummm... MISS KITTY FANTASTICO needs to be taken for a walk.  
  
TARA  
R-right.  
  
BUFFY  
And - I'll - just leave now. Later Giles.  
  
All exit. MULDER, SCULLY and GILES stare at SPIKE who's still standing there.   
  
SPIKE  
Well, then. See you around, Red.  
  
Scully smiles and watches as Spike exits. Mulder stares at Scully with a smirk on his face.  
  
SCULLY  
What?  
  
BLACK OUT.  
  
ACT ONE  
  
CUT TO: INT. WILLOW'S ROOM AT HOME- LATER THAT EVENING   
  
Buffy is applying makeup getting ready to patrol. Willow is braiding Tara's hair.  
  
BUFFY  
Giles said they were investigating the whole Graduation Day disaster.  
  
TARA  
What did he tell them?  
  
BUFFY  
Oh, you know. The mayor turned into a huge snake and that I'm a Slayer. He also told them you two are witches, Anya is an ex demon and SPIKE --  
(mockingly)   
William -- is just a really annoying vampire with a chip in his head.  
  
WILLOW  
Buffy...  
  
BUFFY  
Oh, I don't know what he told them. Giles said that Mulder guy knew a lot about the supernatural but whenever he'd say something Red would just roll her eyes at him.  
  
TARA  
Why are they investigating that now? Didn't that happen years ago?  
  
BUFFY  
Last year.  
  
WILLOW  
But, everything is ok now. We kicked that Mayor's serpent demon thingy's butt.  
  
TARA  
Sweetie, I don't think serpents have butts.  
  
CUT TO: XANDER'S BASEMENT - SAME TIME  
  
XANDER  
I knew that ID sucked! I should have listened to Willow.  
  
ANYA  
Relax. And, think of me -- Naked.  
  
XANDER  
Done!  
  
CUT TO: INT. CAR - SAME TIME  
  
MULDER and SCULLY are driving around Sunnydale.  
  
SCULLY  
Don't forget I want a mocha.   
(beat)   
Mulder?  
  
MULDER  
Scully?  
  
SCULLY  
Why are we here?  
  
MULDER  
Didn't you read my memo? Back in June 1999, many eyewitnesses claimed the former Mayor of this innocuous looking town turned into a huge snake - thing on the day of the high school graduation.  
  
SCULLY  
Snake thing? Is that the technical name for it, Mulder?  
  
MULDER  
I've been getting anonymous reports from this town for a couple of years now about unexplained and supernatural occurrences. The government itself had a highly classified underground military project here that was shut down last month after an undisclosed disaster. Also questionable is the explosion and fire that happened on the day of Sunnydale High's graduation that killed many civilians and that alleged huge snake - thing.  
  
SCULLY  
So, you think that Mr. Giles is involved somehow? Why?  
  
MULDER  
I don't know if he's involved but I think he knows more than what he told us. According to the firefighter reports the high school explosion originated in the library. And, I think students may have been involved as well.  
  
SCULLY  
(pointing at The Espresso Pump)  
Oh, there! Let me out.  
  
Car halts.  
  
MULDER  
We are on a case here you know? We're supposed to investigate.  
  
SCULLY  
Go investigate your snake thingy while I get myself a double mocha and meet you later.  
  
CUT TO: EXT. CEMETERY - ONE HOUR LATER  
  
BUFFY is on patrol in the Sunnydale Cemetery.  
  
MULDER (O.C.)  
Buffy Summers?  
  
BUFFY  
(startled)  
Oh my god! Agent Mulder. How'd you know?  
  
MULDER  
What is that?  
  
BUFFY  
(looks at her stake)  
What, this? It's a -- stick. I just found it.  
  
MULDER  
Looks more like a stake.  
  
BUFFY  
A stake? Well, no. It's not.  
  
BUFFY throws stake O.C.  
  
MULDER  
What are you doing here? In a cemetery at night- Alone.  
  
BUFFY  
Walking. What are you doing here?  
  
MULDER  
Looking for vampires.  
  
BUFFY  
(laughs uncomfortably)  
Vampires? In Sunnydale? Funny.  
  
MULDER  
No, I am.  
  
BUFFY  
And, I guess a cemetery would be a good place to look for vampires.  
  
MULDER  
What are you really doing here?  
  
Spike comes into frame.   
  
SPIKE   
She's meeting up with me.  
  
MULDER  
William.  
  
BUFFY  
Please! Call him Spike. I can't stand the William thing.  
  
MULDER  
Ok, Spike. -- Why didn't you meet somewhere less... creepy?  
  
SPIKE  
Hey, watch it Mr. Fox! I live around here.  
  
MULDER  
Where?  
  
BUFFY  
Over yonder, outside the cemetery wall. Come on Spike. There's that thing we need to do.  
  
SPIKE  
Oh, yes that.  
  
BUFFY  
We're going to go meet up with the Scoobs. Ummm --  
  
SPIKE  
Them wankers you met earlier. Ciao now.  
  
MULDER  
The Scoobs?  
  
SPIKE and BUFFY walk away.  
  
SPIKE  
You owe me one, Betty.  
  
BUFFY  
What now Spike? An easy chair?  
  
SPIKE  
I want Red.  
  
BUFFY  
Willow?!  
  
SPIKE  
No, you blonde. The FBI agent.  
  
CUT TO: INT. GILES APARTMENT - HALF HOUR LATER  
  
All the Scoobies are present, except TARA.  
  
GILES  
He saw you with a stake?!  
  
BUFFY  
I was patrolling! How did I know he'd be there?  
  
SPIKE  
Yeah. I saved Betty in the nick of time.  
  
BUFFY  
(yelling at Spike)  
Its Buffy, Spike! Buffy!  
  
SPIKE  
Yeah, I know. But I don't care. I'm off.  
  
SPIKE exits.  
  
XANDER  
Was Red there too?  
  
WILLOW  
I was with Tara.   
(off Xander's look)   
Oh, the other redhead. I feel all unpopular now.  
  
ANYA  
You never were popular. By the way, where is your conjoined twin?  
  
BUFFY  
Hey! We're getting off topic here. Back to me --  
  
CUT TO: EXT. OF THE ESPRESSO PUMP - MINUTES LATER  
  
SCULLY sitting on a bench with her coffee. Spike sits next to Scully.  
  
SPIKE  
You know, there are a lot of spooky people here in Sunnydale. I could protect you if you want.  
  
SCULLY  
(grins)  
I carry a gun, William.  
  
SPIKE  
Do you carry handcuffs as well?  
  
SCULLY'S phone rings. She giggles.  
  
SCULLY  
(to the phone)  
Scully.  
  
INT. OF SPIKE'S CRYPT - SAME TIME   
  
MULDER  
Hey, Scully. Guess where I am.  
  
EXT. OF THE ESPRESSO PUMP - CONTINUED  
  
SCULLY  
At the airport waiting for me?  
  
INT. - SPIKE'S CRYPT - CONTINUED  
  
MULDER  
No, a crypt. I think it's a vampire's lair.  
  
EXT. OF THE ESPRESSO PUMP - CONTINUED  
  
SCULLY  
Really...  
  
INT. OF SPIKE'S CRYPT - CONTINUED  
  
MULDER  
Yeah. Oh, look -- a radio.  
  
CUT TO: INT. GILES APARMENT - SAME TIME  
  
ANYA  
(Unfazed)  
Are you trying to be mean, Willow?  
  
WILLOW  
Yes, I am.  
  
BUFFY  
It's not really working, Will.  
  
WILLOW  
(To Anya)  
Well, I punched you once and I can do it again.  
  
ANYA  
Oh, just you try it lil' missy.  
  
GILES  
Will you three please stop quarreling. I have a gig in an hour.  
  
CUT TO: EXT. OF THE ESPRESSO PUMP -- CONTINUED  
  
SCULLY  
A radio, Mulder?  
  
INT. OF SPIKE'S CRYPT - CONTINUED  
  
MULDER  
Yeah. And blankets, clothes.  
(Smells the clothes)  
Downy Fresh. Now what vampire does laundry, Scully?  
  
EXT. OF THE ESPRESSO PUMP - CONTINUED  
  
SCULLY  
You know Mulder it could just be some homeless person or a runaway teen using it for shelter. Or, how about this, a secret yet odd hang out space for a group of teenagers? There are endless possibilities here yet you always got for the paranormal.  
  
INT. OF SPIKE'S CRYPT - CONTINUED  
  
MULDER  
(Screams)   
AHHHH!!!  
  
EXT. OF THE ESPRESSO PUMP - CONTINUED  
  
SCULLY  
Mulder! Are you all right? Mulder?!  
  
INT. OF SPIKE'S CRYPT - CONTINUED  
  
MULDER  
Sorry, just a big - rat.  
  
EXT. OF THE ESPRESSO PUMP - CONTINUED  
  
SCULLY  
Jesus, Mulder!  
  
INT. OF SPIKE'S CRYPT - CONTINUED  
  
MULDER  
OK. I think I'll be leaving now. Where are you Scully?  
  
EXT. OF THE ESPRESSO PUMP - CONTINUED  
  
SCULLY  
Right where you left me, at the Espresso Pump.  
  
SPIKE  
Come on, Red. Lets go have some fun.  
  
INT. OF SPIKE'S CRYPT - CONTINUED  
  
MULDER  
Was that Spike? What are you doing with him?  
  
EXT. OF THE ESPRESSO PUMP - CONTINUED  
  
SCULLY  
Investigating, like you asked me too. Talk to you later, Mulder.  
  
INT. OF SPIKE'S CRYPT - CONTINUED  
  
MULDER  
Well, don't forget to go to... (Scully hangs up)   
the morgue.  
  
EXT. OF THE ESPRESSO PUMP - CONTINUED  
  
SPIKE  
So will there be a strip search for this investigation later on, Red?  
  
BLACK OUT.  
  
ACT TWO  
  
CUT TO: INT. THE BRONZE - LATER THAT NIGHT FRIDAY  
  
BUFFY, WILLOW, TARA are sitting on a table facing the stage. All look bored.   
  
TARA  
Look! There's Spike with that FBI agent.  
  
WILLOW  
It's so obvious she dyes her hair red. She's not a real redhead.  
  
TARA  
Well, ummm -- Neither are you.  
  
Willow and Tara share a loving look.   
  
BUFFY  
(eyeing Spike and Scully)  
I wonder why he brought Red here?   
  
WILLOW  
I don't want to share my nickname with her. I should be Sunnydale's only Red.   
  
BUFFY  
At least he gets your name right.  
  
WILLOW  
No, I don't think he remembers it. I think that's why he calls me Red all the time.  
  
BUFFY  
Well, vampires aren't exactly known for their brains.  
  
GILES comes on to the stage and begins to set up for a show. SPIKE and SCULLY walk over to the girls.  
  
BUFFY  
Agent Scully, right?  
  
WILLOW childishly waves. TARA smiles but looks away.  
  
SPIKE  
I need a couple of beers in me before I can hear him sing.   
(to Scully)   
Want anything to drink, Red?  
  
WILLOW  
We're all drinking water like the responsible under-aged people we are.  
  
SCULLY   
(Smiling at Willow's remark)  
I'll have a Coke.  
  
SPIKE  
(Smirks)  
You want that spiked?  
  
BUFFY, WILLOW and TARA roll their eyes and groan.  
  
SCULLY  
(Giggles)  
I'm working.  
  
SPIKE walks away.  
  
BUFFY  
(to Scully)  
So, what are you working on?  
  
SCULLY  
I don't really know. Exactly how old is William?  
  
BUFFY  
Spike? Oh, he's ancient.  
  
WILLOW  
What Buffy means here is that... Well, Spike's older than we are. Much older.  
  
TARA   
(whispers)   
Much, much older.  
  
XANDER comes running up to the table.  
  
XANDER  
Buffy!  
(Notices Scully)  
Agent.  
(To Buffy)  
Anya and I were walking over here when we saw this big - dog outside. Looks like your lost dog.  
  
Buffy  
(Confused)  
My dog?  
  
XANDER  
Yeah. Your dog with - In the alley.  
  
BUFFY  
Oh! My dog! My dog is outside. Excuse me.  
  
BUFFY and XANDER run off. SPIKE comes back to the table with the drinks.  
  
WILLOW  
(To Scully)  
Buffy just got herself a dog, and she's not used to it. He keeps running away. He likes alleys-  
  
TARA  
(To Scully)  
So, why are you here?  
  
WILLOW  
Tara, I'm sure it's just top secret FBI stuff we don't need to know about.  
  
SCULLY  
Not really. I'm just here on another one of my partner's witch-hunts.  
  
TARA  
W-witch hunt?  
  
WILLOW  
(To Tara)  
Figuratively speaking,  
(To Scully)  
Right?  
  
SPIKE  
How would you know? Maybe she is here looking for witches. They could be sitting right here in front of us.  
  
SCULLY  
There's no such thing witches. Mulder is just obsessed with vampires, aliens and anything else that's fictional.  
  
SPIKE  
Hey! Vampires aren't fiction, Red.  
  
SCULLY  
Yeah. I'm a real redhead.  
  
WILLOW gets all exited over that statement and TARA laughs, lovingly squeezing her hand.  
  
GILES  
Good evening...  
  
GILES begins to sing a song and all watch. SCULLY, personally, is mesmerized. SPIKE doesn't like that.   
  
CUT TO: EXT. ALLEY - SAME TIME  
  
BUFFY has just finished dusting a vampire.  
  
MULDER  
FBI! Freeze. Oh, it's you.  
  
BUFFY  
Agent Mulder...  
  
MULDER  
I heard some noise.  
  
BUFFY  
Just me -- and Xander taking a walk.  
  
MULDER  
Where's Xander?  
  
XANDER is getting out of a trash dumpster.  
  
XANDER  
Right here. I - fell in.  
  
MULDER  
You fell in?  
  
XANDER  
I was - Running away from a big - dog.  
  
MULDER  
Where's the dog?  
  
BUFFY  
All gone.  
  
CUT TO: INT. THE BRONZE -- CONTINUED  
  
MULDER, XANDER, BUFFY walk over to the table. ANYA has since joined them. She runs and hugs XANDER. GILES is still singing.  
  
MULDER  
Scully... Scully...  
  
SPIKE  
Quiet mate. We're trying to listen here - And not throw up.  
  
MULDER looks to GILES on stage.   
  
SCULLY  
He's so dreamy.  
  
WILLOW and TARA smile at each other again. BUFFY rolls her eyes. MULDER sighs and sits next to SPIKE.  
  
CUT TO: INT. HOTEL ROOM - NEXT DAY - SATURDAY MORNING  
  
SCULLY  
A Slayer, Mulder?  
  
MULDER  
Yes.  
  
SCULLY  
A girl that battles demons?  
  
MULDER  
According to an ancient prophecy, into every generation, a Slayer is born. She has the strength and skill to hunt all kinds of demons. Women warriors have been throughout human history and legends. The Amazons warriors, Fa Mulan of China fought against the Huns. Who, by the way, were considered by their enemies to be vampires. Xena--   
  
SCULLY  
The Warrior Princess on the WB?  
  
MULDER  
Yes. Scully, we're at a center of mystical convergence here. There must be some vortex that attracts vampires and demons. That's why she hangs out in cemeteries and alleyways.  
  
SCULLY  
She could just be a depressed teenager, Mulder. How does Mr. Giles fit in to all of this?  
  
MULDER  
I think he's her watcher. A Watcher serves by finding the Slayer and leading her on her predestined path. It's his destiny to guide her. Watchers and Slayers follow orders from a secret society called The Watchers Council in England. England, Scully!  
  
SCULLY  
Yeah?  
  
MULDER  
Giles is British. And he seems to have a close relationship with Buffy and her friends. And I figured this one out last night at the club. Buffy called her friends the Scoobs. You know what that means?  
  
SCULLY  
I'm not really into the teenage lingo, Mulder.  
  
MULDER  
The Scoobs.  
(Sings)  
Scooby Dooby Doo? Where are you?  
  
SCULLY  
(Smiling)  
The cartoon show?  
  
MULDER  
What did the Scooby gang do in those cartoons?  
  
SCULLY  
Ride around in a van and chase people.  
  
MULDER  
Correction. They chased monsters, vampires, werewolves - witches.   
  
SCULLY  
Oh come on, Mulder! They chased humans dressed as such things. They never found one real paranormal being. Maybe these kids just like the cartoons a lot. You never know with fans these days.  
  
CUT TO: INT. XANDER'S APARTMENT - LATER, THE SAME DAY  
XANDER is in bed.   
  
ANYA  
The eggs got stuck to the pan again. I burnt the toast and the orange juice is all acid-y.  
  
XANDER  
How about cereal?  
  
ANYA  
The milk is yogurt now. Oh, that agent guy called for you.  
  
XANDER  
Agent Mulder? When?  
  
ANYA  
About half an hour ago. He left his cell number. I chastised him for making me burn breakfast.  
  
CUT TO: INT. DINER - LATER THAT MORNING  
  
MULDER and XANDER are sitting in a booth. XANDER eats his breakfast.  
  
XANDER  
Serpent thingy?  
  
MULDER  
Yes.  
  
XANDER  
I wasn't really there for the ceremony.  
  
MULDER  
Where were you then?  
  
XANDER  
I mean, I was there but - Just hanging out. I wasn't paying attention. You know how commencement ceremonies can be a bore.  
  
MULDER  
And you didn't happen notice the mayor allegedly turning into a huge serpent?  
  
CUT TO: INT. WILLOW'S HOUSE - SAME TIME  
  
SCULLY is interviewing TARA and WILLOW. Both SCULLY and TARA are drinking tea.  
  
TARA  
No, I didn't go to Sunnydale High. I'm not from around here.  
  
WILLOW  
And, I wasn't really at the ceremony so I couldn't really tell you anything about what really happened during the ceremony cause I wasn't really there.  
  
SCULLY  
Where were you?  
  
WILLOW  
I was there, I mean. We were in and out of the library that day too. You know saying goodbye and all. But we weren't paying attention to what was going on in the ceremony. The mayor always liked to hear himself talk so I just simply zoned him out and waited... I mean, we did other things...   
(smiles bashfully)  
But we weren't there.   
  
SCULLY  
Who is we?  
  
WILLOW  
Oh you know -- us. Oz, Buffy...  
  
SCULLY  
Oz?  
  
WILLOW  
Yeah, Oz. And Cordelia, and Wesley... They don't live in Sunnydale anymore.  
  
INT. DINER - CONTINUED  
  
XANDER  
Giles is like a father figure to all of us. Especially Buffy.  
  
MULDER  
Why is that?  
  
XANDER  
Well even before Giles and her mother had a little fling this one time... Well, that was after Buffy was already - Is the FBI investigating Giles for something? Is he being deported?  
  
MULDER  
No. Buffy was already what?  
  
XANDER  
Getting tutoring. He tutored her. And Willow tutored me, and practically the whole school. Giles and Willow have got the brains thing going for them. Tara is a very lucky girl to have Willow. She's certainly a keeper. Not that I'm complaining about Anya. No, sir! -- I'll just finish my coffee now.  
  
INT. WILLOW'S HOUSE - CONTINUED  
  
WILLOW  
I saw it was one big yucky mess. After whatever happened that happened. What exactly happened?  
  
SCULLY  
That's what we're investigating.  
  
MISS KITTY FANTASTICO playfully jumps on SCULLY's lap.  
  
TARA  
No, Miss Kitty! We don't jump on guests like that.  
  
SCULLY  
(Petting Miss Kitty)  
Oh, it's ok. I've always wanted a cat, but in my line of work I cant really take care of one. I'm hardly ever home -- Like right now.  
  
TARA  
They're like children.  
  
SCULLY  
They are, aren't they?   
  
WILLOW  
Yeah. I feel like Miss Kitty Fantastico is our daughter. A hairy, four legged daughter with a tail that sheds all over the house and scratches all the furniture.  
  
SCULLY smiles at WILLOW and TARA.  
  
CUT TO: INT. DINER- LATER THAT DAY  
  
XANDER has since left. SCULLY has joined MULDER.  
  
SCULLY  
Giles wasn't home.   
(Pause)   
Mulder, from what you and I have investigated here... We've got nothing. Just a bunch of kids bored out of their mind during their commencement ceremony. Don't you remember your own graduation?   
(off his look)   
Did you even go to high school?... Don't you think these kids would have some sort of psychological trauma after having witnessed a human being turning into a huge serpent demon thingy and the chaos that ensued? And Mr. Giles is just a lonely ex-high school librarian that hasn't had a job since graduation day last year simply because there is no high school library to - librate.  
  
MULDER  
Librate? Is that a word? Scully, at one point or another throughout the day they were all present in the library.   
  
SCULLY  
As were all the other kids. Mulder, let's go home.  
  
MULDER  
You forgot about Buffy.  
  
SCULLY  
With a name like Buffy no wonder she hangs out in cemeteries.  
  
MULDER  
What is wrong with you?  
  
SCULLY  
I'm tired of chasing things that aren't there, Mulder.  
  
MULDER  
After everything we've been though. Scully, after everything you've seen. You still don't believe in things science cannot explain?  
  
SCULLY  
Scientifically - Physically, I don't believe that a girl like Buffy Summers is capable of fighting off monsters of all sorts like you say this Slayer person is able to. Have you seen the tiny size of her?  
  
MULDER  
She's bigger than you.   
(off her look)   
Maybe she doesn't work alone.  
  
SCULLY  
The Scooby Doo Gang again? So what are you saying? That Buffy is the blonde guy? Who's Shaggy? Xander? And I take it the redhead is Willow.   
  
MULDER  
(shaking his head)   
Anya is definitely Daphne.  
  
SCULLY  
And Giles? What about him?   
  
MULDER  
He's Charlie -   
(Scully doesn't get the reference)  
Charlie's Angels?  
  
CUT TO: INT. GILE'S HOUSE - SAME TIME  
  
ANYA  
I don't understand why they are still here. Don't they have real investigations to investigate?  
  
WILLOW  
We didn't say anything to agent Scully. Or, I don't think I did. I mean I tried to not lie but not tell her the truth as well. I just couldn't help it. I got nervous. I hate it when I babble.  
  
ANYA  
So stop babbling.   
  
GILES  
Buffy, how is your patrolling coming along?   
  
BUFFY  
OK. But, I'm afraid of running into Mulder again.  
  
XANDER  
Good thing you're not afraid of running into actual demons or we'd all be screwed.  
  
XANDER stands up. So does ANYA.   
  
XANDER  
Well, I need to get to work.  
  
WILLOW  
You got a job?  
  
XANDER  
No. Not yet. I'm working on working to getting work.  
  
BUFFY  
Well, then see you tonight.   
  
Xander  
Looking forward to it!  
  
ANYA and XANDER exit.   
  
GILES  
(to Buffy)   
Tonight?  
  
BUFFY  
We're going out. Just Xander, Willow and me. You know, our monthly Scooby core down time.  
  
GILES  
But, you haven't found the fourth Rednimyad yet.   
  
BUFFY  
Don't worry. I'll patrol before and after.  
  
GILES   
Buffy, this isn't like studying for an exam. You can't take a break from finding a demon.  
  
BUFFY  
I thought you said they were here for a ceremony on Sunday. That's tomorrow.  
  
GILES  
Yes, but...  
  
TARA  
(To Willow)  
I guess we could go get that thing you wanted to get.  
  
WILLOW  
Yes. Let's go. Bye Buffy. Giles.  
  
TARA gets up and WILLOW follows her. They exit.  
  
GILES  
You shouldn't let 'hang time' stop you from doing your job Buffy. It's very important. Especially on the Eve of Rednimyad. We need to find the fourth one.   
  
BUFFY  
Yeah, but not getting caught by the FBI agents is just as important. And I need to relax.  
  
GILES  
True.  
  
Knock on the door. BUFFY opens it.  
  
TARA  
I forgot my herbs.  
  
WILLOW stays by the door with BUFFY.  
  
GILES  
Oh, Tara. Have you been able to do that thing we discussed?  
  
TARA  
(nods)  
Yes, consider it done.  
  
GILES  
Good. Thank you, Tara.  
  
TARA and WILLOW leave.  
  
BUFFY  
What's done?  
  
GILES  
Tara is researching some things for me about Rednimyads.  
  
BUFFY  
You two getting all chummy? I hope Will isn't getting jealous.  
  
GILES  
I do hope not. I wouldn't want to lose my sight again.  
  
EXT. GILES APARTMENT BUILDING -- LATER THAT EVENING.   
  
TARA is looking up at the stars in the interior courtyard when ANYA arrives.  
  
ANYA  
(curt)  
What are you doing here?  
  
TARA  
(unsettled)  
What are you doing here?  
  
ANYA  
Giles called me.  
  
Tara  
Me too. I'm to meet with him at seven. But, it's not seven yet.  
  
ANYA  
And so you're staring off into space until the clock chimes the time? You and Willow were so made for each other.  
  
INT. OF GILES APARTMENT   
  
GILES, TARA and ANYA are talking.  
  
ANYA  
I don't understand. Why doesn't Buffy just kill one of the three Rednimyads and we won't have to worry about finding this fourth one.  
  
TARA  
Because we cant kill them. Rednimyads aren't evil demons.   
  
GILES  
Right.  
  
ANYA  
How come I don't know about them?  
  
TARA  
Maybe because you were evil.   
  
GILES  
Rednimyads are fates. They are of another dimension. They aren't good or bad. They just do what they are called to do.   
  
ANYA  
From what I remember of Sunnydale high school hell, aren't the fates three not four?  
  
TARA  
These aren't those fates.   
  
ANYA  
So what do these do?  
  
GILES  
According to your book here, Tara, these fates are summoned to alter some destiny. What could they be altering?  
  
ANYA  
In Sunnydale? How about the fashion?  
  
TARA/GILES  
(thunderstruck)  
The Hellmouth!  
  
BLACK OUT.  
  
ACT FOUR  
  
INT. OF GILES APARTMENT- CONTINUED  
  
GILES  
We need to get Buffy right away.  
  
ANYA  
Why? We've got until tomorrow night.   
  
GILES  
Right. I never used to be this jumpy. Damn The Espresso Pump and their caffinated tea.  
  
TARA  
(looking at a piece of paper)  
Actually, Mr. Giles, your math is wrong.  
  
GILES  
I beg your pardon?  
  
TARA  
You divided by 365 days.  
  
ANYA  
Yeah, that's a year.  
  
TARA  
It's leap year.  
  
GILES  
Dear god.  
  
TARA  
It's tonight.  
  
ANYA  
Wouldn't it be Monday night then?  
  
GILES  
No you need to subtract - Oh never mind. Get Buffy!  
  
TARA  
How? I don't know where they are?  
  
ANYA  
I don't either.  
  
GILES  
Beep them.  
  
INT. OF AN ARCADE - SAME TIME   
Willow and Xander are playing against each other Mortal Kombat as Buffy looks on.   
  
WILLOW  
Hey no fair. I can't move that fast. My characters chest is too big.  
  
XANDER  
Maybe you shouldn't have picked a girl.   
(off Buffy's look)   
Uhh... Not that girls can't kick ass or anything.  
  
BUFFY  
This is so unreal. No woman could walk around straight with those knockers. I would never be able to slay with that body.  
  
XANDER  
Yes, that is why prepubescent boys love to play with this stuff. It's for other than slaying bad guys.  
  
INT. OF GILES APARTMENT - CONTINUED  
Giles gets off the phone.  
  
GILES  
Joyce doesn't know where they are either.  
(They hear a beep go off and realize that Buffy did not take her beeper with her)  
Well, what is the point of not taking the beeper when you have one?  
  
ANYA  
Don't worry. I told Xander to call me by ten.  
  
GILES  
And he's such the reliable little soldier.  
  
ANYA  
Tell me about it.   
(realizes the Giles just put Xander down)   
Hey!  
  
TARA  
(reading her book)  
Look, it says here that only the summoner can stop them. And, only a demon can summon them.  
  
ANYA  
That sure narrows it down. We're only in the demon capital of the Unites States of America.  
  
TARA  
(To Giles)  
Maybe they're altering something else?   
(to Anya)   
Some other destiny.  
  
GILES  
Like what?  
  
ANYA  
Oh! Like when I wanted to create a temporal fold to get my pendant back. That's a kind of altering destiny, right? Or not.  
  
INT OF ARCADE- FEW GAMES LATER  
Willow, Buffy and Xander are all racing against each other. Buffy isn't driving very well and is crashing everywhere.   
  
XANDER  
If this were real life Buffy you'd be so dead right now.  
  
BUFFY  
I said I took drivers ed., I didn't say I passed it.  
  
WILLOW  
Yeah, last time she drove we crashed.   
(Realizing she's just insulted Buffy)   
I want a scooter.   
(She passes Xander)   
Oh, sorry Xander.  
  
XANDER  
Don't worry this little Jedi will strike back.  
  
BUFFY  
Will, how is it that you just passed me again?  
  
WILLOW  
Oh, I'm a couple of laps ahead of you.  
  
XANDER  
Good thing you don't slay around on a car Buffy. However, you'd certainly kill the demons a lot quicker.  
  
INT GILES APT- CONTINUED HALF AN HOUR LATER  
Spike has since joined the group. Tara is not there.  
  
SPIKE  
I told you to page me in case of emergency only.  
  
GILES  
(ignoring his remarks)   
Have you summoned any fates at all, Spike? Rednimyads in particular...  
  
SPIKE  
From the fourth level? I summoned them months ago. They never came.  
  
ANYA  
I guess you were on their wait list cause they're here now.  
  
GILES  
They're preparing for the ritual as we speak. We need to stop them.  
  
SPIKE  
Why should I help you?   
  
GILES  
Do you recall what happened to Adam?  
  
SPIKE  
Right. I called them to create a temporal fold so that I could prevent myself being taken by the Initiative goops. I want this chip out.  
  
Giles  
Spike, due to your chip you can only fight demons, and they've got it out for you. To alter your destiny they will have to open the Hellmouth and if the Hellmouth is opened you'll be killed.  
  
SPIKE  
(thinks it through)   
Very well then. Let's go. Where's Betty?  
  
Tara walks in.  
  
TARA  
I can't find them anywhere.  
  
GILES  
We'll have to do this without them.  
  
EXT. CEMETARY- CONTINUED LATER THAT EVENING  
They are walking over to Spike's crypt.  
  
ANYA  
Do we know what we're doing?  
  
GILES  
We'll create a distraction as Spike... uh, de-summons the Rednimyads.  
  
SPIKE  
Well, I don't know what to do.  
  
TARA  
I'll tell you.  
  
SPIKE  
Where's Red? Isn't she the big witch?  
  
ANYA  
Are you blind? Tara's much, much bigger than Willow.  
  
They run into Spikes crypt where the three Rednimyads are preparing for the ritual. They do not even seem to notice, or care, that the group has entered the crypt. They continue on with their preparations.  
  
SPIKE  
Hey! Put things back where they belong. That's not supposed to go there.  
  
The Rednimyads continue to prepare.  
  
ANYA  
Do something.  
  
SPIKE  
(waves his hands in the air)   
I de-summon you.  
  
Nothing.  
  
TARA  
That's not going to work.  
  
SPIKE  
Well I see that blondie. Why don't you just tell me what to do?  
  
Tara and Spike gather close as she tells him. Anya is standing around with her hands folded.   
  
GILES  
(looking around)  
We need the fourth one. Where's the fourth one? I don't see a fourth one.  
  
EXT- CEMETARY- SAME TIME  
Scully and Mulder are running after the fourth Rednimyad and end up at Spike's crypt. They see Spike, Tara, Anya, and Giles.   
  
MULDER  
What's going on?  
  
The fourth Rednimyad begins to chant. The three other Rednimyads grab Spike and set him in the center of the circle. He is paralyzed by some force. The air is getting smoky and there is a wookie reality folding thing starting on top of Spike. He's scared by it.   
  
TARA  
Stand around them, form a circle... More to the left agent Mulder. There. Now close your eyes. Spike...  
  
SPIKE  
By the powers of the calling I beseech you for what was called once is now not needed. I de-summon your presence. Leave and change nothing.  
  
Nothing seems to happen.  
  
SPIKE  
Oh, return to the bloody fourth level, dammit.  
  
The Rednimyads disappear in a blast of light.  
  
CUT TO:   
INT- MULDER'S HOTEL ROOM- EARLY MORNING  
Scully wakes up in bed as Mulder is packing a small suitcase.  
  
SCULLY  
Mulder?  
  
MULDER  
Yes?  
  
SCULLY  
Where are we? Why are we in a hotel room?  
  
MULDER  
WE are in Sunnydale, California on our way to LA.  
  
SCULLY  
Why?  
  
MULDER  
We've got a case there.   
  
SCULLY  
Oh. We do?  
  
MULDER  
Yeah. The vampire...  
  
SCULLY  
(nods even though she doesn't understand)   
Why am I still in my work clothes?   
  
MULDER  
I don't know.  
  
INT. GILES APT- SAME TIME  
  
The Scooby core is sitting around Giles' family room.  
  
BUFFY  
How did you get Spike to de-summon them?  
  
ANYA  
(gets exited)   
Giles told a lie! Said the Hellmouth would open if the Redminyads performed the spell.  
  
XANDER  
And he believed it?   
  
GILES  
I'm surprised he did.  
  
WILLOW  
No fair. We missed all that?  
  
BUFFY.  
How'd you get the agents of your back?  
  
GILES  
Tara misted them and performed a forgetting spell.  
  
WILLOW  
That's my baby!  
  
BUFFY  
So, Giles, does this mean I can take more nights off? After all you guys stopped the baddies with out the Slayer.  
  
GILES  
They weren't- baddies. And, no.  
  
XANDER  
I guess this means Red is gone.  
(Anya punches him)  
Oww.  
  
THE END  



End file.
